Roses

Rosie died the other day. I just found out this morning. I did not know her too well, but she was a friend. I went to school with her last year. She had had six heart surgeries and was on her seventh when an artery failed. I feel so bad. She was an inspiration to all who new her and always had something nice to say. Her best friend must be miserable. I wish there was something I could have done. I feel guilty for not being more upset.

It is so sad to think someone my age has passed away. She never did anything wrong. What made her deserve this? She will never get to do many things that I, who am unworthy, will. I hope to learn something from the experience of her death and become a better person who enjoys and appreciates life more.

It is so odd to think someone has died. It is really hard for me to comprehend. Death, life no more. We are only on this earth for a short time so I suggest and hope that all of you will learn from this or a similar experience and be better people. I know I will.

In loving memory of Catherine R. Pantania. A true inspiraton. My she rest in peace and finally gain the wings she deserves. May the Lord take her into his company for the brave warrior she was. You will be missed.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I think love is stupid (at least when your in the eighth grade). I think I'm just jealous. Every girl in my grade is asked to dance at school dances except me. I don't get it. I'm am the prettiest, most boy-crazy girl in my grade. Why doesn't anyone like me? I certainly like them. For right now I'm okay with flirting (since I'm not even allowed to do that). I just wish I had the option of dating. I like choices. I like options. I wouldn't do anything different than what I'm allowed to now(at least most of the time, hehe). I just like the power that comes with having control over your life. That power is what I hope to gain by the time I'm 15. If only I had hypnotic powers. One final word (or words) Will and Nicole make me sick and I dislike them both. I'm better than mean words, but it feels so good to get it out.

The Golden Years

This is the oddest, yet most addictive song I've ever heard. (My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas that is).
I felt used today, but all that has left me.
I'm sorry I haven't written lately, I got a MySpace.
I realized what has been making me act so immature this year. Everyone has to go through stages, right? The experiences or stages you go through help shape who you are. I never went through those stages. I realized when I was 7 it was time to grow up. I never got to be a kid. I have always been so busy taking care of others and picking up the slack that I never had time for friends. I have always wanted friends. I'm immature because I'm experiencing everything for the first time. I'm trying to grow. I have put in almost 7 years of hard work for others while wasting the best years of my life. Isn't it time for me to get something for myself? I wish I could, but my mom seems to be making it impossible. She just keeps piling on more chores, lecturing me, and I'm trying to get strait A's. It is just to much. I have read my organization books to make my life easier and none of them can help me organize my time with all things I have to do and rules I have to follow. I wish I could just take a break. I would be happy if I could have a "free" life for just two weeks. My mom sometimes seems to be heartless. And I don't think if feel this way just because of "hormones" as my mom seems to think. She says I have become evil since I turned 12 1/2. Everyone I know agrees with me. (adults included) They all say she's too strict. I only have one childhood and I feel like its gone and I wasn't allowed to experience it. My one desire is for me to get the first 13 years of my life back so I could have some fun. Now I have back problems, knee problems, scoliosis, and rules holding me back; ahh, the golden years.