Nightmare Before Birthday

OMG! I had like the worst dream last night. I'm staying with my dad and his apartement is really creepy because you can here trains and the machines from the factory all night long. (My dad's apartment is inside one of his buildings (he manufactures industrial fabrics)) So anyway, I told my parents that I didn't want anything for my birthday because I have enough already. ( I do. I have always had everything I've ever wanted. Why should I get more when their are people out their that have nothing?) Then, last night, I dreamt that it was my birthday and I had forgotten and so had everyone else. I just sat in my room all day. Not a single person spoke to me. It was awful. The sad thing is, that's whats going to happen. My dad won't be there. I'm not having a cake. I don't get any presents. The only people that will even speak to me that day will be my mom and my brothers. (All my friends will be out of town.) It sucks to have a birthday in the summer. Heck, it sucks to have a birthday at all.

Aren't birthday supposed to be special? I dread holidays. It is just another oppurtunity for dissapointment. That's all you ever get when you shoot for the moon, dissapointment, emptiness. I feel as though I am consumed with emptiness.

Sorry, I'm in such a bad mood, I hate staying with my dad, oh, and his realatives are here. I wish I could just cut my father from my life. I wouldn't miss him. I would miss having a father, and the things fathers are supposed to be a do, but not him. So it wouldn't really change anything. I mean, the idiot just figured out that a hate his guts and that I'm only nice to him because he'll buy me anything I want. So I'm off to spend a misurable day with the ----'s clan. Hope your summer is going better than mine! TTYS

~K

Oui With the Poodles Already

Hey! I know I haven't written in a while. I just switch my blog over to myspace from AOL.
So, schooling update. I applied, was accepted, and am attending ND. I am really concerned that it isn't going to be academically challenging enough. I finished the summer reading in two hours. I'm re-taking Algebra and I've learned most of the course material all ready.
You know something that people don't notice. Signs. Not like the ones on the road, the ones you find in people. Like the sign that someone is suicidal. No one would have ever noticed that I have often considered suicide. Or the signs that some one is getting angry. A lot of times people are to busy to notice the hints given out by the people around them. I encourage you to take note of the signs around you.
I leave you with. "Oui with the poodles already." Happy 4th of July! God Bless America!

Hollywood: The Best Way to Crush Your Dreams!

I am seriously pissed off. My dad produced a movie and as part of it we were supposed to get to go to the last couple days of shooting. So far, they've "rescheduled" twice. So now, I have to choose between visiting my best friend and taking a screen test. (They want me to "audition" to be in their movies.) Damn Hollywood. They think their so great because they have money. I have money to you know! (Or at least my parents do.) I tell you, if they reschedule one more time, I'm gonna...I'm gonna.....give them really big boo-boo's.
...And I mean that in the possible scariest way.