Just Give Me a Chance!

Ok, I seriously literally can not find ANY auditions, or agents or anything and it's is pissing me off! I WANT to be an actress more than anything in the whole universe and I would do almost anything for it! I have spent countless hours studying, practicing, and researching, but I can't seem to get up the nerv to go to an audition, and then when I finally do get my act together there is nothing out there for me to do and something is ALWAYS standing in my way. I really need help because I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this (and I don't mean life, my suicidal days are over). I want this sooo bad I can see it, and taste....but I can't seem to get myself there.

Somedays, I wonder if there is a reason why all this is happeneing to me. Maybe I'll never make it (I mean, what are the odds, right?). And what if the universe IS trying to tell me something? What if I'm not good enough? What if I just will never deserve it? I mean, I've have been blessed with so much goodness in my life that maybe there's just none left for a miracle (especially one as selfish as this). It's just the hardest thing ever: I know that I can do this if the heavens would just smile on me for a minute and give me a chance (I want it! I really, really do!) but there just isn't anything I can do.

I HATE when life is like that 'cuz I'm the kind of person who needs to be doing something important all the time. Well, universe, please give me a chance.

PS I'm open to suggestions from the peanut gallerey if anyone's listening.