On the Precipice

On the verge,
On the edge,
Always on the sidelines.
Watching the others,
I long to play the game,
But I don't belong.

Watching,
Wishing,
Hoping for a new tomorrow,
But tomorrow never comes,
The darkness of eternal night abounds.

I feel it all speeding up,
Slipping away,
Falling through my fingers,
Everyone moving forward,
While I remain stagnant on the horizon,
A shadow of humanity.

I float on the waves,
Searching for the perfect storm,
The perfect crest to ride into shore,
But they break beyond my reach,
Leaving me to paddle on.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride,
I smile in the sunlight,
Silently waiting in shadows to feel I belong,
For love,
For friends,
For meaning,
But I do not belong.

I come close,
But I miss,
Always swinging too early or too late.
I watch the wind up,
Prepare for the pitch,
Only to make the same mistake twice.

I am on the precipice,
Of society,
Of happiness,
Of love,
Of life.
Waiting in shadows,
Longing for sunlight,
Hoping to ride the waves,
Hit a home run,
To find a place I belong,
And not screw things up yet again.