It's 9:38 on a Monday night and I have yet to even open my backpack to begin the monotonous volumes of homework with which it is bursting at the seams. Instead, I have spent the last 5 hours I have been home on the internet, cutting my nails, wandering around the room, staring at my USC app, pondering life, and basically just wasting time in as many ways as possible.
I don't know why it happens, but it does. Procrastination. It is a part of me. Whether something is urgent or not. It's as if I've lost all ability to be productive. Somedays I'll be interested in getting a jump start on a project, or somedays I'll know I really need to do some studying but the second I sit down to work, boredom ensues and I find myself fighting work with every fiber of my being (except for the tiny strand of logic telling me I should be working).
It's kind of scary because it feels like I can't even control it anymore. The focus, the self control, it's just not there. No matter how much I wish I could be productive. I have no power over myself...unless you count the power to waste time.
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