Backed by Popular Demand

I haven't written in almost a month and there's practically been riot in the streets. There's so many things you want me to write about.

I know you want me to write about graduation. About how it was the most surreal experience of my life outside of my car accident. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that I'll never see most of them again. I think if I actually let my self realize that it'd be way too sad. I keep getting told that everything is gonna change, but I don't want it to; so unhealthy as it may be, I'm clinging to the strands of my "old" life right now. I just barely got a high school experience and I'm not quite ready for it to be over just yet. (Kind of like how I still haven't read the 6th Harry Potter cause I just can't let go of Dumbledore yet.)

You're probably curious about my moving out. About how incredibly excited and terrified I am. The space is going to be small. My roommate and I are going to have to absolutely work every free waking hour just to make rent and gas money. But as of this moment we're doing it. Even if it's unfurnished and we live on the floor. I can't live in a house where I'm not sure I'll have a place to sleep depending on my mom's mood. I refused to be belittled and abused anymore. And though I feel a little guilty, like I'm abandoning my family, I'm going to be 18 and it's time for me to fly.

And lastly I know the most pressing topic is my boyfriend. I've been quelled for weeks to write about him (even though we've only been together about 1 now). You know I've really thought about what to say regarding him/this/us and I'm still at a loss for words. I know you all want the deets, but I'm not ready yet. Our relationship, my feelings for him and my feelings about being in relationship are still so constantly changing. Let me catch my breath and I promise I'll give you brilliance.

But for now I have a job interview and a huge party to go to.
Ahh. Summer <3