That Nagging Sensation

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you love me
I can see it in your eyes,
in your smile,
feel it in the way you kiss me

It's also no doubt that you're happy with me

But is that enough?
I constantly wonder
It eats at my heart strings like cancer
I've done everything I can possibly think of to try to make this work
I've bent over backwards trying to be understanding, trying to communicate in a way that worked for you, trying to make sure your emotional and physical needs were being met, sometimes even sacrificing my own
But is that enough?

The nagging feeling starts in the back of my mind as I notice the regularity of any given girls name on your screen
You have a past with her, how is that not suppose to bother me?
You tell me it's fine, tell me it's nothing to worry about - but that's what you said last time

I just want to be the only girl in your life
I never realized that was so much to ask

I get it, I chose to stay.
I chose to work through this, and I'm glad I did.
But how do you ever rebuild trust with someone who you know has the ability to lie to your face without batting an eye?
How do I get over the churning in my stomach that comes with the feeling that you're cheating?
How do I resist the urge to scour your phone the second you leave a room?

So, it's decided, this is it.
If you fuck up one more time, I'm gone.
Sometimes I doubt I'll even make it that long.
I can't take it anymore.
It's tearing me apart, eating me up inside.
Once upon a time I blamed it on you being a dumbass, oblivious to what you had
But the longer I stay, the more I let this go on, the more it starts to make me feel like there's something wrong with me 

And I don't ask for much,
Just honesty and faithfulness,
Things you knew from the very beginning when you chose to start this relationship

I know that you love me
There's not a doubt in my mind about that
And I love you oh so very much
I just hope that that's enough