The Anatomy of a First Kiss

So I'm reading this book today called The Anatomy of a Boyfriend that my friend Hedieh lent me. It's rather smut-tastic. I relate to the main character's plight as she frets over this boy and as they go through their relationship. I can see what she's doing wrong even before she realizes it. I'm thoroughly enjoying the story. The only problem is that I can't seem to shake the thought of how much I wish I knew what it was like to kiss someone. I know this is a weird and trivial concern, especially among everything going on in my life right now, but the main guy in the story, Wes, explained how he'd never had any physical girl experience and how that lack of previous experience only leaves him scared and unprepared when he has future opportunities (if that makes any sense) and I just totally related.

Up until that point in the book, I felt like I had lived the story. The cute meeting, the witty banter, the getting to know each other - I've done that dozens of times. But the thing is, when I get to the part where they expect me to make a move, I have absolutely no idea what to do. Naturally, they don't know this, and the other party usually perceives this as me not liking them. The budding romance is then murderously stabbed to death like a rose chopped from the bush brutally with dull rusty scissors (or something to that effect).

Watching (or reading as the case may be) these two fictitious characters work through that awkward moment and then how the relationship took off from there made me really sad thinking of all the amazing Wes-like guys I could've had if we'd just made it through that moment. But it's like that's always the part where I get stuck. I mean, obviously I know that basically we put are mouths together and that is the structure by which it works, but aside from that I am completely clueless. I didn't exactly have friends in seventh grade when that kinda stuff was the girl gossip, ya know? I've always just kind of tried to maintain the attitude that it will happen when it happens (because it's when people try to force these things that the horror-stories come about). I guess I'm just getting impatient. It's like this big giant secret that the whole world is in on but me. I just hope that someday soon, the right guy and the right opportunity will come about so that I can solve that little mystery and stop obsessing.