The Voice Inside My Head

Late at night is when the feeling creeps in.

The missing you.

Summer mornings spent napping in the sunshine.

Afternoons on swingsets.

Nights in your arms.

I like being single, but it's lonely sometimes.

Especially knowing you're not lonely.

That when I gave you up, it didn't phase your happiness for long.

I hear it's normal.

The missing you.

They tell me it will go away in time.

Some days I hate you I swear.

I hate that you're happy.

I'm envious that she gets you.

I feel a little replaced.

You found a new me so quickly, I wonder how much I could possibly have meant.

I wonder if I made the right choice.

Ending it when I did.

What if I hadn't just then?

Would we still be together?

Would I be looking forward to another summer in your arms?

Cause the eminence of awkward encounters is an unpleasant thought.

I hadn't really thought it through.

My world back home without you I mean.

I wonder if it will ever be the same.

Falling in love.

I kind of question if I'll find someone.

I want something more then a few hours of fun.

I miss when sex had meaning.

I'm scared.

Scared of feeling anything again.

Letting someone in.

Giving them everything only for it to end, for me to be replaced again.

What's the point?

But for that time together.

That fleeting instant of happiness.

It's worth it.

I want to find meaning again.

Maybe not love, but something.

It will never replace the summer I spent with you.

But maybe I could be happy again.

Maybe there's something more for me than late nights spent missing you.