I was drunk off Jack we washed down with grape juice chasers. Smoking cigars in my back yard. My friend Alex was visiting. It was the first time I'd ever been drunk. And you were pissed. The only sober responsible one. You felt manipulated, and I could tell you were upset, and I wanted so much to apologize, but my drunk self couldn't focus enough to figure out how. So I sat in my room waiting for you to get back from taking everyone home and you came in, and you kissed me and told me I tasted like alcohol. But even smelling like whiskey you still cuddled me. And we took a bath. Our first bath together. And we cuddled. And I rambled drunkenly on. And the warm water was amazing. And your kisses. And I felt so safe and so happy. And I know you were mad. That you felt used. That you probably look back on that night with a little anger. You being so moral and my messing up and annoying you. That's kind of how I felt about our whole relationship. I was never good enough. Always just messing up and annoying you. But I look at that night differently. To me that night was magic. It was heaven.
And just like that night I never think I'll ever be able to explain enough how sorry I am and how much I want you not to be mad at me anymore. How I just want for you to enjoy this moment with me and be happy.
And just like that night "I love you. I love you. I love you. ...this many. *reaches out arms*"
And I have longer arms, so I will always win. <3
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