A look back...

So, I'm sitting here reading my old blogs from senior year. How very much I have changed since then. The magnitude of daily drama seems so distant and trivial now. Some of the things that were once such a big deal I now don't even recall.

Those few months before college my writing makes a sharp difference - I lost my sense of wonder. Everything use to be so grandiose and full of promise, then, suddenly, it was like my writing lost it's innocence. Makes me sad. I had something great there. I think I'd like to try and bring a little innocent wonder back into my life.

So much else has changed too. So much is better. It's like all that shit I went through doesn't even matter because I survived it. I'm in college. I live on my own in a beautiful apartment where there is no yelling and no stress. My relationship with my mom is so incredibly different. In fact, she's probably one of my best friends. I call her for advice, opinion, and sometimes just to talk. I'm still not so lucky in love. I still go through those cycles of restlessness, though I now know it to be depression which I cope with. There's still doubt, there's still scars. But good God, it's so much better. Any teenager out there struggling right now, it's cliche, but it's true what they say, everything's a million times bigger right now. Life begins after high school. And it's wonderful.

I'm so incredibly grateful for this blog. The good and bad writings, the fact that I kept it up all these years. How wonderful it is to be able to look back on your life and remember exactly how you felt in that moment.

And mostly, not to brag or anything, but I am one goddamn fabulous writer. ;)

xo