Plexyglass Ceiling

I hate societal double-standards. I hate that boys can date younger but girls can't. I hate that if a man is promiscuous it's a source of pride, yet if a girl is, it's shameful. I hate that no matter what happens in the world, their will always be elitist men.

I hate many of the expectations of woman. Whether we realize it or not, they exist. I hate that we are supposed to be feminine and mysterious and sexy and all the other things we have to be. What about just being ourselves? Even if I'm not sure who that is yet, it is what I want to be.

And within all these standards, I hate the socially acceptable forms of communication. The way no one believes a male-female friendship can be strictly platonic. The way if I say the wrong thing, some one will interpret to mean that I do or do not "like" them. I hate that guys can say provocative stuff without it evolving a conversation, yet if the girl chimes in the conversation is suddenly lead in a direction or she is shunned. Sometimes I just want to say what's on my mind and not have anyone read into it. Guys can go up to a girl and say "Dayum girl you look fly", and though personally I laugh at them, it's acceptable; but a girl can't say such things. Not that I would indulge it, but if I want to complement some guys ass, I should have the right to do that without some societal judgement.

I'm just so frustrated beyond belief with social barriers that will never be broken and with my efforts at sorting myself out as a I sort out my dealings with others.

Tangent time (and not the geometric kind): It's just like I am me. I am not what girls are supposed to be, and I like that; who wants to be a clone of all the other Barbie's, ya know? I am also rather conservative when it comes to values. Yet at the same time, I'm a teenager to here. It's not like I live on Pluto. I have the desire to party, to have fun, to just let go sometimes; though the need for drugs and alcohol I don't quite understand, the liberalism and freedom of it all looks like fun sometimes. I just wish my peers understood that instead of assuming I'm a narc just because I'm not hittin' the giggle weed every other weekend.