Can't think, can't eat, can't sleep. I want the world to stop today. I want a day off from the madness. A day free of college apps and family stress and social drama. I want to go curl up under the covers and stare out the window at the cloudless blue sky and thinking about nothing, absolutely nothing.
I want a day where I don't have to be confused about everything. A day where I can get in my car and pick up my friends and go on an adventure. A day where I don't have to think about the boys I like or love or might like or don't like. A day where I can turn off my ever-thinking brain and just be open to the possibilities.
I can hardly wait for it to be summer again. We're entering that chilly late January period which means spring is just around the corner. I can't wait for shorts and tanning, and reading in the tall grass beneath the endless sky. For sunshine that tickles your toes. For possibility, for adventures.
18 is coming. In 177 days to be exact. I am both scared to leave the comfy pink cocoon of my life as it is, and excited to spread my wings - adventure is out there. I made a promise to myself the other day: I will never waste a day of my life. So many years I have spent, endless days in my room, wishing I could be out having fun, making my own choices.
I want to live. Not just exist, but really live. And when I finally get that chance I'm never going to let my freedom go to waste.
I'll be honest; I teared reading that.
ReplyDeleteThis post is exactly what I would write if I were eloquent like you; I can relate to it an incredible amount.