3rd wave feminism

So, we talked.

And it was good.

I think you got it. Like, really got it.

I think you hear me now.

I feel better. At peace.

I drove home with a genuine smile on my face. The first in a long time.

Is it still going to be hard? Yes. Am I still going to love you? Yes. But I'm starting to think I'm always going to love you. And know that that's not pointless; to know that at the very least I can love you as a close friend, that you care about me somewhere too- I feel so much better. Less pathetic. Less alone.

And I'm starting to think, maybe it's time....

Maybe it's time to start moving on.

Maybe that's allowed now.

Things are square with you at last, and I mean, that's really the only thing that's been holding me back. Letting you know I wanted to be with you and making sure you didn't before I moved on. Making sure you knew where I stood...that I gave you a chance...that I didn't hurt you.

Am I going to care about you still? And wish that maybe we can try this again, give it the chance it deserved? Yes. But maybe I'm allowed to be happy too. Maybe I don't have to sit here pining and wallowing waiting for a someday that might never come.

Maybe I can be happy AND have things be good with you again.

Maybe I'm good enough for that.

And do I hope you'll read this? Yes. I hope you see the words I thought you never would, that you get how much you meant to me, how much you mean to me, and that it makes you feel happy and loved and that it makes you smile.

Am I still going to feel the need to spend a great amount of time proving to you that I'm not that person I was for a little bit there? That I'm not some crazed lost party girl? That I'm still the girl you knew, better even? Yes. But I feel much more like we're on the right track for that now.

Do I hope you'll still think about me and care about me like I will you? Yes.

Am I still going to miss you sometimes? Yes.

But not it's not like it was anymore...

You're with her. Okay. You can be with her and have loved me at one point too. It doesn't have to be one or the other like I thought it did. Does it suck for me in the meantime? Yeah. Do I wish things were different? Yeah. But it's time for me to get past this. Because I want to be your friend again, be in your life again if you want me to be - and because you deserve better.

And I'm starting to think maybe I deserve better too.